Thursday, May 20, 2010

Man I've been a bad blogger!

So my lack in posts is not just because I am a slacker. Our computer broke and was in the shop for several weeks. I like my Iphone but boy am I happy to have the laptop back!

This week has also been VBS and let's just say I didn't get a whole lot done other than VBS! Next week I shall resume back to being somewhat normal! And going on a diet! Man those peeps fed us good this whole week and I ate, uh just a little ;)
I have had these pics uploaded for a while and just now getting around to publishing the post! Teagan has been without her cast for about 2 weeks and it's oh so nice for it to be gone! We have spent lots of time in the baby pool and slip n slide :) She favored it for maybe 10 minutes and then went right on like nothing ever happened :)
I will have to take a pic once Chris and I go on our date for our anniversary! It's been 7 years! Amazing! I can't believe how old we are getting ;) He had to work lots of extra nights so we are going on our date this week. I have loved every bit of the last 7 years and can't wait to spend 70 more :) hehe
I will be back with more pics and an exciting book review next week! You won't want to miss this review!!!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

It's all the hood....

Thanks girls for all your encouraging words. It actually does help just knowing I'm not the only one loosing my mind out there ;) I am going to try a few things and I'm 99% sure it will help....
I'm going to start cutting back on my computer time and TV time and start being in the Word during those times instead. I'm also going to start playing worship music all the time, even off the computer when we are home. I know it's all about priorities and I'm ready to get mine in order :)

In other news, we had a playdate today and I think if I counted right there were 6 toddlers and 5 babies altogether. It was crazy but super fun. We ordered in Jason's Deli and the kids just played and had fun while the moms attempted to chat while semi watching kiddos :)

Also my early mother's day gift that Chris brought me home yesterday is a new embroidery sewing machine! I'm so pumped! I'm a little overwhelmed because it is massive and I gotta find a place to put it but I'm super excited because burp clothes and onesies are gonna get cuter!! :)

And Happy Mother's Day to all you momma's out there. Even in the tough times there is nothing better than settling down, hugging your kiddos and seeing their smiles. I wouldn't trade it for the world....

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Wowee and Good Golly...

So...seriously....I'm losing my marbles. I didn't have many to begin with so the ones I'm losing now are valuable! I'm having a slump of a time here with the kiddos and well myself for that matter. I'm ready to start trekking up that mountain and get out of this valley but I fear I'm still near the bottom.
I'm going to venture out there and make a statement that might just be crazy but hey, I'm crazy right? Here it goes... I think I would trade back the teenage hormones for this emotional hoopla I now have! It's like a cross between pre-menopause, crazy lady and wack job all in one. Oh and part man since I've reverted back to the can't cry stage again...Sounds fun huh?
I'm starting to wonder if my kids are thriving on watching me go crazy...I have seriously never been this stretched and this disappointed in myself in all my 27 almost 28 years of my pea pickin' life. I feel like I'm a record player that keeps going er er... or whatever sound a record player makes when it gets stuck...It's like I know the answers and I know how I should act and respond and be but I keep failing at it. And sure it's not down in the dumps all the time. Some days are worse than others. Some days I feel like Whooo! I think we are turning a corner. And then BAM...Back to square one. I don't like that I know I should start my day in the Word and cling to Jesus in these times of poopiness but it's like I'm bummed in the fact that I know I still stink at it and I feel like when I do start off good and then fall later that day then I'm so disappointing to Him. And again, I know the right answers...I know that's not how He views me and I know He loves me but good golly I'm having a hard time loving even myself!
And then there's the wave of a million emotions that comes on right after I start feeling down. It's the "Suck it up Tara, You are so Blessed, Get a Grip" emotional trip I get on. It begins by all the above feelings like I'm just failing and blah blah blah and then flips to...I have it so good. I'm so blessed and what a loser I am for acting like this is so hard and not embracing this time of my kiddos lives. (During this trip, mind you, I also go through the how I need to be reaching out to others and serving and giving more of my time and money to things that matter and taking my kiddos along while I do it) And then I wind my trip up with the whole dust it under the rug and smooth out my crinkles in my skirt or shirt and pick myself up and forget about it and go through the motions and get right back to where I left off.
I wish there was a book. You know a child raising book or heck a pill would be awesome! You know one that tells you what to do with kiddos from ages 18 months-4 and 5 years old. Most the books I have found are pretty much how you deal with kids who are like 5 and up. You know that understand and communicate in full sentences. Who when you say No, they either stop doing what they are doing or you put them in time out or spank them once and they learn the lesson. Hmmm...Not mine. I am going to be a pro when I have 6 and 7 year olds who I will give one of two choices and they can choose. If they don't do it then I take away something the enjoy or their toy. Seems like it will work. But this age...the age they are at RIGHT NOW...come on peeps! I need a BOOK! Or at least figure it out so I can write a book and tell all the other moms who are going crazy with me that you are not alone! Let's be crazy together! But hang on, I want to be sane!! Not crazy!! You know what I mean? I mean what the heck do you do with two kids who once you tell them No or spank them or whatever you do and then they follow you screaming at a decibel that is hurting your sensitive ears and then proceed to follow you around the house when you are trying to ignore them and go into another room. Heck I've tried putting them in their room and they can get out! I need a lock on the outside or what? I've locked MYSELF into my room and they just bang and scream even louder and that doesn't help either of us.
So...all that to say...Yeah....I don't know what it was all to say. Maybe just to get it off my chest. Maybe if I could just cry and eat a whole pint of ice cream and not feel fat afterwards.
All that to say....I guess...Pray for me. I'll pray for you other moms too. And if you have any tips or magic you have aquired that you want to share...please do. If it works when I try it I might even pay you. ;)
I need some chocolate....