Well she said it would be tough...Not this tough. I think more moms should warn new moms and moms of more than one under the age of 2, that there would be days you feel like the worst mother in the world, like an utter and complete failure and that you have no buisness even being a mom. That you would run ragged and would have little patience.
Then I think of the gift of grace. Grace that God gives me to start new. Everyday He lets me wake up and start fresh with my sweet kiddos. In fact He doesn't even make me wait until the next morning. He give me the choice (and blessed help from my sweet mom and dad!!!) and I can stop, ask forgiveness and start fresh right then and there. Motherhood is totally bringing out the deep ugliness that lies inside of Tara. It shows me how DESPERATELY I cannot do this without God refining and changing me DAILY. I feel like I haven't come as far as a should. I feel like I should be further but I'm not going to stop trying. I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and I am going to determine to be more patient, loving and supportive of my children and their craziness ;) I want to teach them to be godly and loving and patient and kind but how will they learn that if I am not showing it to them? They mean the world to me and God has blessed me far more than I ever deserve. By His grace, I will be a good mommy and I will learn and I will strive to love my children well....
And you wonder how can you lose patience with kids with faces like these? Well easy BUT! That I believe is why God makes them so darn cute! So your anger melts and you hug them up!
His new big boy haircut I gave him :)
Teagan reading...
So focused! She gets too frustrated with these so I had to switch them out for things she can pick up!
Sibling love!
Chubby wubby cheeks!
Before his haircut, my shaggy man!
Her hair normally, all wild and crazy! I have to smooth it down often! :)
4 comments:
Tara,
Big hugs to you. I'm not a Mom yet, (well, not one that has to deal with temper tantrums or a fussy baby at the same time!) but I just wanted to say that I know motherhood also brings out the BEAUTY of Tara and who God made you to be :)
Thanks for being transparent and honest :) And you're right, those are some very cute faces!
Abby
As I read your post it brought tears to my eyes because I feel like this so often. There are nights I just cry in my husband's arms and tell him that I am just the worst mother and why does the Lord keep entrusting more children to my care. I realize that this may be partly because I am hormonal and scared to become a mother of 3 in 3 months or so. The days that I get so frustrated with my children I go into another room and say a quick prayer for strength and then when I see my kids again they display the best example of forgiveness that we should continue to show everyone who hurts us. It amazes me that if I lose my temper with one of them not even a minute later they smile at me and just want love and they have already forgotten why I was upset with them in the first place. Thank you for being so genuine in this post because I think there are a lot of moms out there that feel like this and don't share what they are really feeling.
Yes thanks for being so open. So many times we can put up our fronts and then when we're alone we feel just that, alone and that no one can relate. Well I can relate. And for the record (and I know I don't see everything but...) I think you're a terrific mom. You obviously care or this wouldn't bother you and you love your children so much and its so obvious. I just pray the Lord will dish out double helpings of wisdom, peace and joy on us mommies! Yes I would love to sit down and talk on monday or anytime for that matter. :)
well it sure has been a few days since I checked my blogger dashboard!! so anyway...
THANKS, Tara, for being so open. Gosh, I have just one easy baby and I feel like this sometimes. I remember crying in frustration one night when G was a newborn & my mom was still in town helping me out. G would NOT sleep and I just wanted to go to sleep and I screamed, "I can't do this!! I do not have the patience for this baby!!!" And my mom gently reminded me, "This is how you become patient."
I like how you said how much you appreciate your mom & dad because they really do know how you feel. You are a wonderful mom, and you just have to take day by day... in several years there will be new obstacles, new challenges, and you will feel overwhelmed with them too. But if you are LOVING your children then that's what counts.
God doesn't give us more than we can handle. He obviously thinks that you can handle your two young children. He is obviously working some serious life skills into you. You are stronger for it. See me? I still have only one child. I know I cannot handle having a 2nd child until Genevieve is 5 or years old. We are planning it that way. The fact that you are handling it just fine makes me admire you so much more, Tara.
hang in there! Tomorrow is a new day :)
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